Right, It's simple enough, if you just...

Right, as far as I can tell, we're in a "financial crisis", or a "Credit Crunch" or whatever. This, soon will turn into a recession, and we will all have to eat our own poo.

So here's my take on things.

As far as I can tell, BIG banks have been lending money they simply don't have. They lived in a wonderfull world where they could borrow £500 for 2% intrest, and lend it for 5,000,000,000% intrest.

So one day, one guy in America woke up and said "Oh, shit, I can't afford my bloody mortgage..."

So what's happening is because everybody's in debt and stuff, the banks are refusing to lend any money to anybody, so when a perfectly good graffics company in Slough goes bust, it won't be able to lend any money. Which means it'll go bust. And about 100 people will loose their jobs. In which case they won't be able to pay their mortgages, and the banks will reposess their houses and sell it for £2. Because NOBODY is buying houses any more. And then, that'll make the banks less likely to lend again. So we'll all be in the SHITS.

So kids will have coal for Christmas, instead of a Playstation, and the Playstation people will be made redundant. So those poor little people in Japan won't be able to celebrate Japanese Christmas. Japmas.

So, because that STUPID Americanbought that house for $200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and had to borrow it all from the banks, You're buggered.

Oh, and just to give you some figures, Iceland is probably in the most SHIT.

It's banks are in six times more debt that THE WHOLE COUNTRY'S GDP!!!! That's scary.

And there's no point of increasing taxes, because nobody'll be able to pay them.
Theycould try printing more money, but that would bring inflation, so a loaf of bread will cost £20 Trillion. Seriously.

So, the governments will borow cash they can't repay. So they'll go bust as well. So they won't be able to pay the army. So there'll be civil disobediance. Which means everybody in the country that grow cabbages will be ok, unless people will come and steal them. So that's wrong. Everybody who lives in the country that grow cabbages will be ok, grated that they have a gun..

And then nobody will buy oil. So there'll be loads of fighting in Saudi Arabia. And Iraq, and them places.

But Sarah Palin will be ok, because she'll be up in Alaska burning Polar Bears to keep warm. No, not eating them. She'll eat shit like everyone else. Or stel cabbages. No she'll be burning them for heat.

SO-IF YOU ASK ME.. What you'll need is a damn good gun and a lot of ammo. It's quite possible to soot everyone in debt over.. say $/£100k?

Good, and while we're at it, let's shoot some bankers to boost morale as well.

That should do it.

Of course, it's possible by tomorrow, that it'll all be fine, and everybody'll own AT LEAST a Mercedes S-Class. In which case, we're all buggered again, because every other car company will collapse.

BUGGER...

You just can't win.

After all that, my fingers hurt.

Bye,
Iwan.


Daily Youtubeness, i just remembered.



Oh, what the hell, you deserve another for reading all that.




Oh, go on then, just another...